Amanda's Boudoir Experience

The first time I tried boudoir was after escaping an abusive relationship. I felt really badly about myself, especially my body. It had been a long time since I felt confident or sexy when I had been conditioned to feeling ashamed. When I saw photos of other women doing boudoir and the confidence that they wore, I knew I wanted that for myself. So here I am, 5 sessions later and I feel AMAZING. I am always looking to do another shoot.

I definitely had some fears that I wouldn't like the photos that came out of it. Usually when I take a selfie it takes me ten times or more to find one I like. "Oh, my double chin is showing", "I don't like my smile", "My arms look chubby" Then of course there is my awkwardness. To quote Talladega Nights, "I don't know what to do with my hands." I wasn't really sure if I could pull off the sultry pout and the delicately placed fingers. How am I supposed to pose? I don't know what I'm doing, and I feel like the camera is expecting me to know.

When I arrived I was a bit nervous. I wasn't really sure what to expect. Upon entering the studio, I was greeted with all smiles and a glass of bubbly. The studio is such a beautiful and welcoming environment. We got to laugh and chat while Belen got busy giving me the best hair and makeup I've ever adorned. It felt reminiscent of the slumber parties you'd have with the girls as a teenager-- complete with a dress-up fashion show with the client closet. During the actual shoot it felt like I was glowing. I had a whole hype team behind me and a wonderful photographer to show me the ropes. It was only a few shots in when I started to feel more relaxed and comfortable. As someone who likes to get creative, I felt I had a safe space to offer my ideas for poses and outfits. They didn't always execute well, but I'm happy I had a supportive team to experiment with!

When it was time to choose photos during the reveal, I found myself having a hard time picking! It was such a a contrast to the usual "Oh I don't really like this one, or this one, or this one..." when I typically have photos taken of me. I'd say I looked good in nearly every single one! I almost couldn't believe the girl I was staring at was me. She looked confident and sexy, someone who really loves herself and isn't afraid of ashamed to be in her own body. A woman that I would admire and want to be friends with. It was a cathartic experience, releasing the negative view I had of myself and accepting that I AM this woman.

If you're even peeking above the fence line, just do it! Put your arms and legs up there and crawl on over. We all deserve to feel good about ourselves at the end of the day, and we can't let our body be the hurdle that keeps us from getting there. Stretch marks should be embraced for being indicators of growth. Scars should be celebrated for overcoming challenges and healing from them. Smiles are meant to be shared. If that's not enough, take a scroll through Honey VIP and look at all the women who are out there supporting each other. There is a whole community waiting to meet you, accept you, and cheer you on!

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